Going Along For the Ride

Part 1

We’d already decided that we were going on vacation with our couple friends. But landing on where to travel seemed like an agreement we were never going to come to in the middle of our busy families and lives. They are among our closest people—chosen family. He’s steady and stable, and she is a loving, overly generous control freak. Between Covid and graduations, my moving and more Covid, this fictitious plotting has been dragging on for years.

“Let the men decide,” I declared one night in frustration. “Here are the dates.” It took a moment for it to sink in, but as it did I saw the guys warm to it.

“We make the plans?” they asked just to confirm.

It sounds like I was making some existential sacrifice, but I’m too wishy/washy to make most choices myself anyway. I knew what I was doing. These amazing gentlemen are too scared of us to go overboard. They aren’t about to take my fat ass bungee jumping, or drag my friend hiking up a mountain. At least I hope. Also, they’d have to join us. 

I was surprised to see my friend agree.

My husband revels in travel plans—made and remade. He likes to discuss them, get me all excited, and then switch at the last minute. I’m not complaining. He has taken me all over the world, one rescheduled leg at a time. Eventually, we wind up somewhere unforgettable, and it’s all an experience that ends in ice cream. This has been a nice way to spend a life.

His track record convinced me to relinquish travel control years ago. This was less surrender and more coping mechanism. On this trip I can just show up and have fun instead of listening to him compare the authenticity of Google Reviews to Tripadvisor’s numbers, before switching the reservation to something his work buddy recommended in the end, because it’s all rigged anyway.

Even my friend seemed to trust the guys, knowing we’ve trained them well as they step out into the big bad world on their own.

They were texting furiously but remained tight lipped as they created our mystery itinerary. I didn't try to puzzle it out. I admit, I was assuming she would break her husband down first.

She did find out we’d need beach clothes. And really, that should have been a given. I’m glad they didn’t try and take us snow tubing or even shoeing. To go from this freezing climate into another is a cruelty I’m not sure any of us are prepared to handle.

My non drinking husband let this clue, slip. Would a hypothetical “person” like to purchase the drink package, which includes endless liquor a day, but not beer or wine. It only costs six cocktails? A “person” is good for 2 to 3 drinks before my face hits the plate. Not yet, honey. Not yet.

There is no other venue that encourages endless beach weather drinking! Covid aside, I was excited to find out it’s a cruise. While the kids were young we went annually with my mother, my mother-in-law, my sister and her family. It was a safe choice for a bevy of opinionated people. We got to enjoy the shows and the food, then retreat back to our cabins to talk about each other on the balcony. We’d better have a balcony. Yes guys, that was a hint. 

This couple's cruising without a family entourage will be something new, even though this one is as good as family. I’d trust them with my life. For a week, anyway. Where we wind up was never really the point, but I hope it’s somewhere I haven’t been. And doesn’t include parasailing. Another hint.

I read somewhere that relaxing is fun. So I’m bringing my devices and a wide brimmed hat. As anyone who’s been to the beach with me will attest, I’m good for a solid 15 minutes before I vampire my way through the shade and onto the next meal. Or ice cream. There has to be ice cream. 

I shivered through today’s icy Massachusetts slush comforted to know that next week at this time I will be off somewhere in the sun, sipping ala carte piña coladas and listening to a calypso band on the Lido Deck, while I get ready to send next week’s post from somewhere in the Caribbean? I’ll need wifi. There you go, guys. One more hint for the road.

PS I read this story to my friend. She had no idea it was a cruise. He looked devastated. Maybe he faked me out. Reverse psychology? Club Med? Is that still a thing? Stay tuned.